Facing the Operative Word
by AndromedaMarine
Summary: Elizabeth Weir knew that one day, if not soon, she would have to face the operative word that she and John Sheppard had danced around for too long. "Yet." COMPLETE.
1. Will He Live?

**Facing the Operative Word by AndromedaMarine**

Every day of their one and a half year relationship had been filled with worry. Every night when they went to bed the back of her mind had a special spot reserved for the feeling. The couple had discussed its constant presence and decided that it was a side-effect of their unusual occupations. But every day the feeling grew, if minimally. Each time her lover and best friend barely escaped a bad situation with or without serious injury the emotion enlarged.

The time for serious discussion came when John Sheppard was gravely wounded and was unconscious by the time Carson got him to the infirmary. A concussion, he'd pronounced, and promptly ushered the full-bird into life-saving surgery. Frankly, Colonel Jonathan Sheppard was dying.

Carson Beckett was in surgery for nearly four hours. During that time Elizabeth Weir remained connected to the infirmary. Rodney had kept the diplomat and very worried woman company and given her comfort for more than half the time until Zelenka called for help on the transporter systems. Lorne, Teyla, and Ronon gave Elizabeth their companionship as well. The Athosian respectfully and appropriately offered to pray to the Ancestors with and for Elizabeth and John.

The CMO exited surgery and pulled the germ guard off. Elizabeth searched his face for some expression that revealed something. There was nothing.

"He just barely made it," the Scot said, eyes now expressing sadness. "I stopped the internal bleeding but he will be unconscious for a few days, a week at the most. I had to place him in a medically-induced coma. If he woke up now I'm afraid his body wouldn't be able to handle the stress. What the bloody hell happened out there?"

Ronon coughed and glanced at Elizabeth, who was crying into Evan Lorne's shoulder. "He was in hand-to-hand combat with a wraith. By the time I shot it, it was about to feed on him – and he couldn't fight back. We were just in time."

Beckett was shocked. "Bloody hell..." he breathed. "Lad, he _was_ fed upon – at least two years were taken from him. Ronon, the colonel's more than lucky ye got to him when ye did. I'm afraid Colonel Sheppard would have died if ye'd gotten there a second later."

Ronon was silent, as was Teyla.

"Will he live?" Elizabeth asked with a barely audible voice. Her face was stained with tears and she was gripping Lorne's arm fiercely.

There was a painful silence as Beckett formulated his answer. "If he does I am not clearing him for any duty for several months. I'm afraid that his injuries from the past few months – especially the concussion that had him in here for two weeks – have been building up and even small things, like a bruise to the arm or leg will make this recovery difficult, if not near-impossible."

Elizabeth kept her hold on Lorne's arm and new tears fell unhindered.

Carson stepped forward and took Elizabeth into an embrace. "I'm very sorry I don't have better news, lass, but right now I can only give him sedative and make him comfortable. I'll allow ye to sit with him for a while, but then ye'll have to get some rest of your own. Be gentle, lass. I'd tell ye to stop worrying, but there's nothing ye can do about it." The compassionate Scot kissed Elizabeth's cheek and gestured for her to sit with John, who was in a private room.

She, alone with the unconscious colonel, took his hand.

All she did was cry.


	2. Coming to Terms with Reality

**Facing the Operative Word by AndromedaMarine**

_Coming to Terms with Reality_

Elizabeth Weir was jostled awake by a rather disgruntled Carson Beckett. She'd fallen asleep at John's infirmary bed, her hand entwined in his. "I told ye to get some rest of your own. He'll be here in the morning, don't ye worry about that. I must insist." The doctor helped Elizabeth get her bearings as she stood. "I'll keep an eye on him for ye. If anything happens ye'll be the first to know, I promise. Get some sleep and real rest, lass." He escorted Elizabeth to the door of the infirmary and watched until she was out of sight. The doctor sighed. "I swear to Alastir she'll run herself into the ground over him."

Elizabeth was groggy; but it _was_ almost one in the morning. She'd sleep in, she decided, but immediately revoked it because she would spend her day with John. It didn't matter what Carson said – Elizabeth would stay with John. She stumbled into their quarters and suddenly she felt too alone. There was no John sitting at the table working on a mission report, no John there to welcome her with a smile and a heart-melting kiss, no John to keep her warm at night. No, her John was in a coma he might not survive. This was reality. And it hit her like a ton of bricks.

She made a mess on the floor around the table as she shoved piles of paper and miscellaneous things off. "Where is it?" she kept muttering, until she found what she was looking for. John had ordered it from earth maybe a month ago – and had used it every day since. She knew because she'd almost walked in a couple of times but stopped just to hear it.

The woman slipped under the covers of their bed and held it against her ear. The pressed the button and the small tape-recorder issued the melodious voice of John Sheppard. He sang a'cappella the songs he'd written himself. Love songs, they were, by the strange happening of John's ever-creative muse. And they were beautiful.

_How can I tell you that I love you?_

_How can I tell you how I feel?_

_How can I show you what I'd do for you?_

_How can I be the one you love?_

_--_

_I've been across the universe and back,_

_But I'll never understand how this works._

_Love is something everyone feels_

_I'm wondering now if love can hurt._

_--_

_If I'm gone and I can't hear you_

_I'm sorry for whatever caused it_

_But you should know for every reason_

_That I love you and I'll never quit._

_--_

_So here I am, I'm waiting for you_

_And I'm telling the whole world I love you_

_Sometimes those words are overrated, _

_But oh, clichés can be so true._

_--_

_My actions tell you that I love you_

_My touch will tell you how I feel_

_My record shows what I would do for you_

_But I can't answer – How can I be the one you love?_

_--_

_Only you can answer that_

_But I know one thing:_

_I'll always love you, 'Lizabeth._

The song ended – the beautiful song – and tears were streaming onto the pillow. She'd migrated over to John's side of the bed. The worry once again took up residence in the reserved corner of her brain with a new emotion. Realization. The song John had written and sung was a revelation that showed Elizabeth the reality of the situation. _If I'm gone and I can't hear you / I'm sorry for whatever caused it / But you should know for every reason / That I love you and I'll never quit._ John certainly couldn't hear her. Perhaps he'd meant for Elizabeth to eventually find the tape recorder.

Elizabeth Weir cried the entire night, finally falling asleep at five-thirty in the morning. She had come to terms with reality.


	3. A Favor, Please

**Facing the Operative Word by AndromedaMarine**

**Author's Note:** I admire and respect Stephen Hawking's work in the areas of astrophysics and quantum mechanics – I am simply relating Rodney's thoughts on the matter.

_A Favor, Please_

Elizabeth woke at nine in the morning. One hand clutched the tape recorder and the other was woven into one of John's shirts. She stretched, not yet remembering what had happened the previous night. She rolled over and expected to roll into her lover but instead she fell off the bed and onto the floor. "What the hell?" she said through her teeth. "John?" She stood. She saw. And she remembered. Her heart found its way into her throat and new tears formed.

As the woman dressed she played the song on the recorder. The words flowed through her, perhaps strengthening her, and she hummed along to the melody of John's voice.

The door swished open and when Elizabeth stepped out to go to the infirmary she ran right into Evan Lorne. "Evan?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

Lorne scratched his head. "I work here."

Pausing for a moment and realizing what she'd said, she rephrased, "Why are you outside my quarters?" She tried to give him a smile but failed. Evan understood.

"You weren't in your office this morning and I figured you were sleeping off your stay in the infirmary last night. I was just coming to check on you." The major gave her a supportive smile, and offered an arm. "You look hungry."

Elizabeth nodded. "I am," she admitted. "But I was going to the infirmary, not the commissary."

"Not very smart," Evan mused, trying to lift the mood of his superior. "Would you like some company?"

"Thank you for your concern, Evan, but I'd rather be alone right now. I'm still trying to accept what's happened to John." She tried a sad smile. She started to walk away, but the major held on to her arm.

He pulled her into a comforting, supportive hug. "I'm here if you need to talk about anything. I'm scared for Colonel Sheppard too. I'm more understanding than some people might think." He released the woman and his eyes locked with hers. "Just eat something before you visit him."

Elizabeth silently agreed with Evan's last sentence and left to the commissary. She found Rodney at one of the tables, digging into a rather large dish of salad (which was highly unusual) and immersed in a thick book the leader didn't catch the title of. She sat across from him and the scientist didn't look up. "Rodney?"

The head of science peered over the top of his book which was titled A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. "Hello, Elizabeth. You know, this book is completely off. Considering what we've learned about wormhole physics and hyperspace and hyperdrives and the origin of Earth over the past fifteen years this is complete crap." He lowered the book and gave all his attention to the woman. "I've already seen him today. He looks a bit peaky – but that's probably just the sedative working."

"Thank you. I'm going to see him in a few minutes. I wanted to ask you a favor."

Rodney looked up from his plate. "Hm?"

"A favor," she repeated.

"Okay. What would you like?"

Elizabeth was quiet for a moment. "John and I have been waltzing around the fact that our lives are in constant danger and every time he goes through the Stargate I worry. He hasn't died, yet, and I thank God for that. But the operative word is 'yet.' Promise me you'll be more careful now that John might not wake?"

Rodney reached across the table and took Elizabeth's hand. "We have been careful. But every now and then we get into a fix that won't let us come out unscathed. What happened to John wasn't a slip-up in carefulness – he was fighting for all our lives. I wish and I hope he'll walk away with his."

Elizabeth took Rodney's words and left for the infirmary.


	4. Hearing Words of Wisdom

**Facing the Operative Word by AndromedaMarine**

_Hearing Words of Wisdom_

Elizabeth walked into the infirmary rather slowly, contemplating what she would do when she saw her lover near death. Just the thought made tears well up in her eyes. The Scot looked up from another patient and saw the leader standing at the door to John's room. He hurried over and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Elizabeth? Are you okay?"

She reached her hand up and rested it on Carson's. "No." She didn't have to say anything else for the doctor to understand. He left her and watched as she entered the room that housed the unconscious Colonel Sheppard.

Elizabeth sat next to John and gazed at his face. He had long, jagged scratches marring his face from where the wraith swiped at him. His left eye was black and there were a myriad of other scrapes and bruises on his face and neck. The wraith had also stabbed him wherever it could – leg, arm, even his stomach. Surprisingly John looked no older, which was strange because any amount of life taken by a wraith showed change in age.

For many minutes Elizabeth just looked at John, memorizing the features she already had stored in her mind, learning every mark and wound on his visage. She found his hand and held it. It was extremely cold and Elizabeth wrapped both of hers around his.

Carson quietly entered John's room. "Lass, he needs a familiar voice. Talk to him."

"What do I say? He can't hear me anyway," she said without looking at the Scot.

"Oh, believe me, he can. I remember hearing Laura when was in my coma a few years ago. It took me a while to admit it, but it helped me through. He'll hear you. I promise." He started to leave.

"Carson..."

The Scot turned. Elizabeth left her seat and awkwardly hugged the doctor. "Thanks, Carson. Thank you for everything. Please save him."

Carson wrapped his arms around her and returned the unexpected embrace. "I will, lass. I will." _I have to_, the doctor added in his mind. He had to. He let Elizabeth alone and returned to his office.

Elizabeth sat again. "Hi John!" she said, a small smile flitting across her features. "You know I have terrible bedside manner. But I've never had to use it seriously until now. I'm not mad at you, John. I'm scared. I've had to endure a few things that pale in comparison to this. I'm worried, John. Carson said you can hear me. I sincerely hope you can." Elizabeth grasped her lover's hand again and more tears streaked her face. "You've heard me say this a million times and more: I love you. When you wake up we need to talk about the operative word I know you know. I love you, John, and I don't want to lose you. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I don't know what Atlantis would do. You're her favorite son, John, and don't forget that. I miss you already – I'm cold at night. But at least I have your voice. I love you because you are the world. You are gentle and compassionate and caring. You are the one I love because you are John Sheppard."

--

As Major Lorne sparred with Teyla in the gym – which was actually harder than it looked – he found himself wondering how Elizabeth was holding up. Even as he'd been on Atlantis for a few years now the major thought of Elizabeth as a sister. His thoughts wandered farther than they should have and Evan found himself hopping around the gym on one leg. Teyla's bantos rod had found Evan's leg in his inattention.

Teyla smiled. "You are improving, Evan, but I find your mind still wanders."

Still hopping, Evan replied, "How do you know that my mind wanders? I could be figuring out how to beat you at this."

"Unlikely," Teyla said. "A short intermission? Sparring with Ronon is quite difficult and takes much strength to complete." She sat and grabbed a bottle of water from the bench. "Have you been to see John yet?"

Evan nodded and joined the Athosian. "I know it's still early but I'm wondering if he'll make it."

"I have learned while on this city that it is wise to...assume...that one will survive. Dr. Beckett's medical proficiency is more astounding than anything I have seen in my lifetime. I believe that John will live, as should all who worry on his behalf."

Evan Lorne enjoyed his time with the Athosian. She knew how to instill hope and drive in someone. Her words were what made him trust that his commanding officer and friend would live.


	5. Time to Think

**Facing the Operative Word by AndromedaMarine**

_Time to Think_

Rodney squinted at the blackened crystals that Zelenka had found wedged in the transporter control panel. "What the hell?" he muttered and yanked them out of their positions. "How'd those get there?"

The Czech scientist was pacing and grumbling words Rodney recognized (after many years of working with Radek) as Czech swear words. "I do not know. All I know is I tried to transport to the control room and it did not work. I checked the panel and those were there."

Rodney held the crystal in the Atlantean sunlight. "Well, they're not new. I don't think."

"Oh, don't start. A massive power surge – and I mean massive – is the only thing that could have caused this! Someone placed them there, Rodney."

"Hence the reason I said 'they're not new,' Radek," Rodney said as he slowly turned his head toward the Czech.

A few more Czech swear words tumbled Rodney's way. "I do not suppose there are extra transporter crystals lying around, eh?"

Even after six years of working with him Rodney still managed to get annoyed. "If there were I would not be here." He gathered up the blackened crystals and stomped away, leaving Radek to fend for himself. Rodney had absolutely no idea where extra control crystals for the transporters were, and frankly he couldn't care less until lunch rolled around, at which time he would have to walk for forty minutes to get to the commissary.

--

Carson made Elizabeth tear herself away from the infirmary to do some work in her office. She walked to the transporter and saw Radek's legs sticking out from a console. "Radek?"

The Czech sat up, knocking his head on something that at least sounded hard. He audibly said some swear words in Czech. He crawled out from underneath. "Elizabeth? What can I do for you?"

"Are the transporters working?"

Radek glared at the crystal panel. "This one is not. Someone has traded the working crystals for damaged, black ones. I am attempting to find extra crystals. How are you doing?" he asked, giving the diplomat a quizzical expression.

Elizabeth sighed. "Still horrible," she said. "I'm tired and Carson's making me do some work to get my mind off John, but that'll never be possible."

"Ah, I agree," Radek said. "I find my mind wandering to his situation when I least expect it. I am sorry but you will have to take the long way to the control room. Rodney is not making this any easier for me and lunch is getting close."

The leader smiled austerely. "I think a walk would do me some good." She said goodbye to the frustrated scientist and started her journey to the control room at a leisurely pace. It would give her time to think about John and the city. Elizabeth really had no idea what she would do if John didn't survive the coma. Carson had noticed a slight improvement – if any – in the colonel's physical condition. It gave her a miniature ray of hope through the darkness in which she was immersed and lost. It took her nearly an hour to reach the control room.

Rodney had conveniently left some food in her office (perhaps thinking it was the least he could do after not being able to fix the transporters) along with his mission report from MX9-423, the planet John was injured on. Elizabeth flipped through a few pages of it and decided that she didn't want to read it until she had all four reports – and if John didn't survive she would have Lorne read them in her place because she would be too distraught to complete it.

--

"Well, they can't have wandered away on their own!" Radek rebutted Rodney's vocalization of the Czech's incompetence. "I am telling you, Rodney, I cannot find any replacement crystals or the ones that were originally in there."

The head of science stared at the wall above his laptop. "Radek, just go and check the Ancient database. There should be something in there about replacement crystals."

"Other than what we've seen so far?" Radek muttered under his breath, but Rodney heard him.

"Yes," Rodney said through his teeth, "other than what we've seen so far. Out of my lab!"

The Czech scurried away, wondering who had taken the crystals and why.


	6. The Darker Side of a Coma

**Facing the Operative Word by AndromedaMarine**

_The Darker Side of a Coma in another Galaxy_

The lights flickered in Rodney's lab. Not a good sign, they'd learned over the years. He ignored them for a few minutes, and then the screen of his laptop died and the Head of Science almost spilled coffee over the keyboard. "What the hell?" he squawked, hitting the laptop for good measure. "Damn naquadah generator."

The screen of his laptop thrummed to life but it didn't show what he'd been working on. Instead, letters began to flow across the screen, reminding Rodney of a file he'd read from the SGC. _What happened?_ The letters spelled. Rodney leapt back and stared at the screen as if it were going to eat him. _Where am I? What's going on?_ _Why is everything so dark?_

"Hello?" Rodney asked experimentally, after hyperventilating a bit.

_Rodney? Is that you?_

"Who is that?" The scientist should have been used to crazy things happening but this was too much.

_It's John, you twit – can't you recognize my voice?_

Rodney relaxed somewhat. At least he knew _who_ was inside his computer. "Uh...I hate to break it to you, buddy, but you don't have a voice." Rodney felt stupid talking to a computer.

A stream of periods floated across Rodney's computer. _What happened? Why can't I see anything? Where's Elizabeth, and what do you mean I don't have a voice?_

Rodney coughed. "You were fighting a wraith hand-to-hand and he fed on you. You don't remember that? I might add that you're in a coma and my laptop."

Another line of dots drifted across the screen. _I remember fighting the Wraith, but that was like, a while ago. Right? What do you mean I'm in a coma? I'm talking to and I can hear you right now! And what the hell do you mean I'm in your laptop? Stop trying to confuse me, Rodney; you know I'm smarter than that._

"I should get Beckett down here..."

--

Rodney took his laptop and sprinted to the infirmary, which wasn't too far away – Rodney was glad of this considering the transporter problem. "Carson, I have something you might be interested in." He barged into John's room and noisily set the laptop on a small table.

"Rodney! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? The colonel needs peace and quiet!"

Rodney smiled and opened the laptop. "You won't believe this."

_Hello?? What's taking so long? _

"Who's doing that?" Beckett asked, eyes ghosting the room just to make sure, because Rodney's hands hadn't touched the keys, nor were the keys moving.

_Carson? Thank God! I thought Rodney'd never help me._

The doctor's face was white. "Again, who's doing that?" The Scot's voice was rather high and Rodney would swear the doc's eyes had changed color too.

_Oh yeah... It's John. Don't just stand there, help me out with this! Where is Elizabeth?_

If not for his medical training and constant exposure to alien elements the good Scottish CMO would have fainted right then and there. "Colonel Sheppard?"

_Unless someone changed my name, yes._

"Bloody hell... Lad, you're in a coma! You shouldn't be able to do this!" He ran a hand through his gelled hair and swiveled to look at the seemingly unconscious John Sheppard. "I suppose I should ask you things as though you were conscious... Lad, can you feel anything?"

_No._

"Can you see anything?"

_Just blackness, which I'm guessing is nothing._

"But you can hear."

_Obviously._

Carson pressed on John's good shoulder. "Can you feel that?"

_Feel what?_

Apparently not. "Never mind."

_Where is Elizabeth??_

"I told her to get some work done. She's been by your side for too long, lad. Be glad of it," Carson berated. He felt uneasy about his strange communication with the colonel.

_Why am I in a coma? I don't feel sick or hurt._

"I placed you into a medically induced coma because of the extensive injuries your body is sustaining. If I didn't your body would not have been able to handle the stress and you would have died." The back of the doctor's mind was fixed on John's previous sentence. "Do you feel any...emotion?"

_...frustration, exasperation, maybe a tinge of anger. Why?_

"I'm exploring options here, Colonel, be patient."

_I don't like being patient! Where is Elizabeth??_

Rodney, who'd known John for several years, knew this didn't fit John's demeanor. Usually the colonel was very calm and patient (except in dire situations or when Rodney was unbearably annoying).

Suddenly the lights flickered in the infirmary and big, bold letters started to marquee across Rodney's computer. _Take me to Elizabeth. Now!_

Both doctors knew something had gone horribly wrong.


	7. Messenger in a Bottle

**Facing the Operative Word by AndromedaMarine**

_Messenger in a Bottle_

"Elizabeth, would you come to the infirmary?" Beckett asked over the radio. "There's been an interesting turn of events with John." He glanced at Rodney's laptop with wary eyes.

_Interesting hardly describes it, Beckett. I __must__ see Elizabeth!!_

"Calm down, John. I am only trying to help. Things will not get any better if you have a negative attitude."

_I am waiting and my patience is thinning._

Rodney had a feeling that the word's effect would be much more powerful if he could actually hear John's voice. "Elizabeth's coming, John. Just a few more minutes," he said. He gave Carson an expression that voiced his worry.

Rodney's headset crackled. "Are the transporters working?" asked the leader.

The doctors exchanged looks of inevitable sickness. "No," he replied.

_You are untrustworthy and irresponsible. _The lights flickered again.

"It'll take me maybe half an hour to get there without transporters. Is the situation urgent?"

"Quite," Beckett said. "I'd suggest you get down here on the double."

--

Radek and Evan were on their way to the infirmary to visit John. They were met by Elizabeth who was running. "What's going on?" Evan asked, jogging to get into step with Elizabeth. "Where're you going?"

"Infirmary. Carson has something," she huffed between steps.

Ten minutes later Elizabeth, Radek and Evan were staring at the screen along with the two doctors.

"What on earth...?" Evan breathed.

"Wrong expression," Radek said mindlessly, eyes wide and unblinking at the LCD.

_Elizabeth?_

"John?" she said after a few moments and after checking the body of her lover.

_I demand to speak with you alone._

Elizabeth glanced at Beckett, who shrugged. "As far as I'm concerned he can't do anything to hurt you," he wrote on a pad of paper. The woman nodded and her friends trooped out.

"John, are you all right? I was worried sick and I still am."

_I am not John._

Elizabeth was taken aback. "What?"

_Rather, I am – what you would say – John's "evil twin." Clichés aside I am not evil in any sense of the word. _

"And who is making that assessment?" Elizabeth's diplomat side kicked in.

_The operating part of his mind. I am simply a messenger, designed and woven into the gene of the Alterans._

Elizabeth merely blinked. "Continue."

_As the strongest holder of the gene currently on Atlantis, Jonathan Sheppard has the ability to control Atlantean systems while in a near-death state. My program is for last words. When I was activated in Dr. McKay's lab I was merely imitating the John Sheppard you know – until the directive pushed me to contact you. I understand that the doctor who is caring for my counterpart's physical health is quite exceptional in his occupation. I, however, cannot determine if my counterpart will live or not. My program was simply a prototype in a few Alterans – those of which who were Jonathan's ancestors, if distant. _

_I am sorry to inform you that when and if Jonathan wakes he will not remember anything about this encounter as I am a separate function of is mind. I apologize for any inconvenience my attempts at getting your attention caused – it was I who removed the transporter crystals as to give you time to think. My program is interactive; I learn. If he dies, and I apologize for being blunt, my program will serve as his last memory of you. I was also designed for loved ones to decide their course of action when the one they love cannot speak for himself. My apologies again if my directive activated too soon – my programming has not improved over ten thousand years._

_I have access to Jonathan's mind – and I believe that if and when he wakes you will need to discuss this 'operative word' you are so worried about. Goodbye._

The laptop died again but did not resume life. Elizabeth was shocked, even amazed. She turned and gazed at her lover. He seemed peaceful, and Elizabeth would die before believing that her best friend would never return. Perhaps the program designed by the Ancients had a good side – but Elizabeth still didn't know if John was going to live. She would let Carson determine that.

She exited the room and was met by the anxious and worried expressions of her four friends.

"Well?" Beckett asked. "What happened?"

Elizabeth seemed as though she were in a daze. "I don't know how to explain it, and I think he wanted me alone for a reason."

At first Rodney didn't understand. "Oh." What was said to Elizabeth was to remain with Elizabeth. "Is he still in there?"

The diplomat shook her head. "Carson, can you check up on John? I want to know how he's doing physically. And don't hold anything back."

Carson nodded and started to work.

The operative word was still waiting.


	8. The Operative Word

**Facing the Operative Word by AndromedaMarine**

_The Operative Word_

John's condition steadily got better. After six days in a coma (four and a half after the directive had activated) Beckett announced he was ready to take John out of it. The day after the directive deactivated the transporter crystals mysteriously appeared in Rodney's lab, much to Radek's surprise, and neither ever figured out it was John's "evil twin" who had returned or even taken them. It was just Elizabeth and Beckett in John's room. The color had returned to the colonel's face and the wounds were all healing nicely.

"Are you ready, lass?"

Elizabeth nodded and began to chew on a nail. "Yes."

Carson injected something into John's IV and the colonel's eyes started to flutter. The Scot retreated to a corner, letting Elizabeth be the one John saw when he woke. "Lizbeth..." he mumbled thickly, morphine getting in the way. Elizabeth grasped his hand and lifted his forearm so it was supported by the woman. "Lizbeth, is that you?"

"Yeah, John, it's me." Tears started to fall down the leader's face.

"What happened?" John asked with some difficulty. He tightened his grip in the hand Elizabeth was holding.

Elizabeth glanced at Carson, who nodded. "You were in a coma for a week. If not for Carson you would have died. A Wraith fed on you, John. We're all lucky you're alive. I love you."

John opened his eyes. "How can I be the one you love?"

Elizabeth smiled. "I love you because you are the world. You are gentle and compassionate and caring. You are the one I love because you are John Sheppard."

John was silent for a while. "Didn't you say that before? Oh, well. I love you too."

Carson walked up behind Elizabeth. "He will live."

--

Ten days after John woke he was discharged from the infirmary, but true to his word, Carson refused to clear him for any duty. The good Scot had insisted on and demanded that John be in a wheelchair for another five days. This order was met with a long list of words Carson didn't feel were appropriate after he'd saved the colonel's life. Nonetheless, John complied and Elizabeth wheeled him to their quarters. They were met with smiles from Radek, Evan, Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney.

Elizabeth helped John out of the wheelchair and onto the sofa. "John, we need to talk."

The man looked sharply up at Elizabeth. "What about? I'm alive, aren't I?"

"True, you're not dead. Yet. And that's the word we need to talk about. Every time you go through the gate there's a very good possibility that you won't come back the same way. We've done this dance, John, and it's more than just a side-effect of our jobs. It's part of our lives. I need assurance every time that you'll come back alive."

"Rodney might've already told you this, but we're as careful as we possibly can be whenever we go through. We're never careless. But there's always the times that we can't help but fight. That's what happened on the last mission."

"I'll still be worried."

John was silent. He was contemplating a question he'd wanted to ask her for a few months. "I...I want to be with you. I mean, for forever. If this'll help with the worry you're attached to, then... I suppose what I'm trying to ask is if you'll marry me."

"What?" Elizabeth breathed, wondering if she heard correctly.

"Marry me? I'd have a ring if we were on earth, but we're not..."

Elizabeth smiled and kissed him. "Yes."

Although they'd battled through John's worst predicament, the operative word still existed – but neither would ever have to face it.


End file.
